“Pyaar dosti hai. Agar wo meri sabse achi dost nahi ban sakti, toh mai usse kabhi pyaar kar hi nahi sakta. Kyunki dosti bina toh pyaar hota hi nahi hai… Simple… Pyaar dosti hai.”
As Shahrukh Khan repeatedly says in my favourite childhood movie, Kuch Kuch Hota Hai, ‘Love is Friendship’. Something, which is so simple, yet so complicated.
Simple, because of what it means. Your true love in life is the one who manages to be your best friend. Not the everyday-changing-string-of-best-friends that we have nowadays. But that one person, who when you look back at life, was always there for you, in some form or the other, ever since they walked into your life. Your true love is the best friend by your side, through your thick and thin. Someone you can laugh with, say anything that you want to. Someone you can be your true self with, without worrying about him or her judging you. They might not agree with what they have to offer, but they will tell you that right up to your face. Just like you, they are not afraid of being natural with you, of all people.
You connect with this person, at some super human unexplainable level. The person who somehow shares the same weird likes and dislikes as you, and doesn’t judge you based on them. Yes opposites do attract, but that’s all that they do. You can’t really love someone, when you are thinking about how weird they are, but are not comfortable in telling him or her that. Your true love, just like your best friend, won’t lie to you and tell you that you don’t look fat, even when you both know you have gained 5kgs. He won’t sugar coat things, because he wants the best for you. And yet, he would be the one who would have your back when the things go wrong. Someone who will scold you like a parent, and hug you like a lover, while cleaning up all your shit like a best friend should. You will fight with this person, have loads of arguments, and will still choose and desire to be seated next to them in a super long flight. Just because you experience a sense of safety and peace when you are with them. It’s the two of you, against the world. Two people, who create fire together. Not the fire that destroys them and everything along the way, but the fire that illuminates their world, and everyone who belongs to it.
Complicated, because we make it so. Because we have heard that a girl and a guy can never be “just friends”, we believe that every person that becomes a close friend might be our true love. True love, and best friends know that the bond that they share is unbreakable. They trust the other person to go out, do their thing, meet tens of people, and still be there for them at the end of the day. Things like jealousy don’t have a place in true love. Protectiveness, yes; Possessiveness, yes; jealousy, NO.
We read and experience too many things that form our notion about what love is. We confuse it with a relationship, and tend to live by the rules. We play games; manipulate the other person, just to get what we want. We are all ready to love someone, but based on our own conditions. But isn’t love supposed to be unconditional? Isn’t it all about the joy of giving, without expecting anything in return? True love is not just a relationship. It’s an equal partnership where two people put in equal effort, not because they have to, but because they want to.
A WORD OF CAUTION: Just because someone is your best friend today, doesn’t mean that they are the love of your life. Life is a long journey, and the person we might be getting along with for quite sometime may not necessarily be the true love or the best friend we believe them to be. Because as they say, it might not be about who came in first, its about who came and never left…